That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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