I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
