just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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