I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
