I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
