i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize