I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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