You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
