The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
