just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
