I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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