It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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