moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
