so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
