Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
