okay pat passed out under dana's car
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
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