so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
