I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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