I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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