I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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