gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Randomize
