I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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