If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
