when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
