capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
