U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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