What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
