well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize