I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
So many bounce houses so little time
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
