Jerry, you need to find god
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
