he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
