oh god the rape fog is back!
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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