Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I queefed so loud it echoed.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
