That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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