you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
