8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Never joke about your clitoris.
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