Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
