that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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