did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
