We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
