It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
