Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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