booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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