That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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