Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Vodka?
Forever.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Couch. On fire.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
