If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
