I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
