hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
