Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Randomize
