I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
And then my night got REAL pukey
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize