Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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