just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
