Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
this just has baby written all over it
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
