Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
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