he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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