you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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