You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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