Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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