you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
