Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
