This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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