I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
