8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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