We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
