So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
