sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
