also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
